Communication

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As humans, I believe we are hardwired to connect.  Connection with others is our lifeline to happiness, passion, and growth. We can sit for hours in quiet solitude and contemplation, but the minute we must communicate with others, even the most serene of us, can still become enraged behind the wheel of your car, or hurt and angry when you feel slighted, attacked, or unheard. Healthy communication is the key to healthy relationships. My skill set in providing you with a safe place to be seen, heard, and understood even in the face of conflict and pain is the first step towards improving your relationships. 
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Anger and Resentment are the two ingredients that will destroy any relationship. In my practice, I work hard to understand where this anger is coming from, explore the history of your pain, validate your perspective while also challenging you to develop skills that will neutralize these toxic feelings. Sometimes re-processing old hurts (utilizing EMDR) can help you push through your resentment and allow you to reconnect with your partner or family member in a healthy way. Boundary setting, developing compassion and increasing empathy, are all building blocks towards creating a long lasting relationship.
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When people come to me because they can’t communicate, what I have learned over the years is that what they really do not do very well is LISTEN. If you choose to work with me I will teach you the basic skills of mirroring, recognizing each other’s non-verbal signals, being more mindful of your own emotions, all before you utter even one word! We will work on increasing your tolerance for frustration and how to manage your own sensitivity before you engage in any conversation, whether it be in the workplace or in your personal life.

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Couples Therapy

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I believe that your couples therapist needs to be hands-on in session. Too many times I have heard clients tell me that they tried couples therapy and it "only made us feel worse" or "all we did was fight in session." My goal is to be an advocate for the relationship. This means I will interrupt you when things escalate in session so that you both experience a new way of communicating that is based on mutual respect, trust, and compassion. We call this a corrective emotional experience that teaches you to fight fairly and with dignity for one another. My clients tell me that they find my interactive style and sense of humor refreshing and worthwhile.

 

As a generalist, I draw upon a variety of methods, techniques and experiences to help each couple succeed. The following are a list of specialists that have influenced the way I practice couples therapy:

 

• John Gottman, "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work"

• Terry Real, "The New Rules of Marriage"

• Esther Perel, "Mating in Captivity" 

• Sue Johnson, "Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy for Trauma Survivors"

• Barry McCarthy, "Sex Made Simple: Clinical Strategies for Sexual Issues in Therapy"

• David Daniels, "The Enneagram, Relationships and Intimacy"

• Stan Tatkin, "Wired for Love"

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Family Therapy

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The definition of “Family” can be broad and diverse. My view is anyone that you care about and have conflict with, qualifies. In my practice I work with the following issues:

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• Parent-Child Issues (Mother/Daughter/Father/Son)

• Blending Step Families (Co-Parenting Problems)

• Co-Worker Conflicts

• Sibling Rivalry (of the Adult Variety)

• Managing Conflicts with your Boss or with an Employee

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The following are links to specialists and other resources that have influenced the way I practice family therapy:

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• Nina Brown, "Children of the Self Absorbed" 

• Stephen Covey, "Seven Habits of Effective Families" 

• John Gottman, "Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child"  

• Robert Karen, "Becoming Attached" 

• Pia Mellody, "Facing CoDependence"

• Jonice Webb, "Running on Empty: Overcoming Childhood Emotional Neglect"